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Phil

by She Fetus

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1.
(simpsons dialogue) It stops I wake up most nights (x2) I don't know that man, that man anymore(x2) I see riding my old bike (x2) fire fire in my head (x2) theres a hole where I think there used to be my dad When I was five years old I never thought I'd end up hating you and seeing big black burn marks on the highlights what we were supposed to do And epitome of male disappointment where my father would walk me down the aisle Or standing in speech at your funeral trying to get out, "I miss my father but I don't even know if he was real" "I miss my dad but I don't think I ever really knew that man" I see riding my old bike (x2) fire fire in my head (x2) theres a hole where I think there used to be my dad
2.
swing low 02:59
Swing low Sweet Chariot Comin' for to carry me home (x2) Is this it all over again, again now worse than before? Swing Low Sweet Chariot Is it really worse than before Swing Low Sweet Chariot is it really worse than before? Is this it all over again? again now worse than before? Swing Low Sweet Chariot Lord have mercy on my soul Swing Low Sweet Chariot Lord have mercy on my soul Swing low Sweet Chariot Comin' for to carry me home Swing low Sweet Chariot Comin' for to carry me home
3.
expecting it 04:30
Calling all of my brain cells now 1, 2, 2, 4 get in line Now is there any more room for another bad thing in my life? Now look straight at me at the TV screen another sign what life could be Now look straight ahead and just hold your breath until you die I never thought I'd dread the holidays Now calling brain cells 1,2, and 3, and can you even still hear me? And do you remember back in August my Aunt just died and my sister called me and she had more bad news after aunt and when she told me about my dad and all I could do was ask her what but the words she told me it was like I was expecting it Now look straight ahead at at the TV screen another sign what life could be Now look straight ahead and just hold your breath until you die
4.
I'm mean when I'm sober and I'm mean when I'm drunk out loud I get that mean from my father I gotta need to push everyone down And I'm mean to this body get mean when my body's insight get mean in my brain and that mean keeps me up all night I wanna ask u a question who can feel nostalgic when theres nothing to look back to? And I'm mean to this body get mean when my body's insight and the parts of me you make up I wish I didn't have that much And I'm mean to this body get mean when my body's insight get mean in my brain and that mean keeps me up all night I wanna u a question I'm not going to like the answer to.
5.
your mother 03:20
Your mother ate you thats just how it goes sometimes your mother carriers you so you could survive Your mother has the car packed to leave fast when its time Your mother has the car packed to leave fast when its time your mother keeps you under starving her self for weeks at a time your mother pushes you from the nest so you can fly My mother she told me Phil made her feel stupid and I understood Noel big and tall Noel big and tall Oh, Noel I watched her be put down all the time Your mother has the car packed to leave fast when its time your mother keeps you under starving her self for weeks at a time your mother pushes you from the nest so you can fly
6.
r u ok? 02:31
What do you do with all that anger? What do you with all that mistrust? What do you do when life has fucked you? What do you do when your dad is gone? And when I walk around I want someone to ask me are you okay? What do you do with the girl in the mirror who grabs your sides every time your near? What do you do to improve your mood when everyone else is so fucking rude? And when I walk around I want someone to ask me are you okay?
7.
And he tells me jokes and he raises me and all the things we did before and then he shuts the door shuts the door its so awful and clear to me now and its not what you had not what I had and is it something bad? I lost my dad And he tells me jokes and he raises me and all the things we did before and then he shuts the door shuts the door

about

The end.

credits

released June 7, 2019

Audio from The Simpsons

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about

She Fetus Arcata, California

Music by Helen Anker
contact me: helenanker@yahoo.com
like me on facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/She-Fetus/272117142822560

Like my art/music on instragram @she.fetus

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